I believe that one of the most important needs of persons when they discover that their partners have been engaging in compulsive sexual acting out behaviors, is SUPPORT. I also strongly believe that there is HOPE-- couples can and do heal from this betrayal. Couples can heal their relationship and create a healthy one and have intimacy.
"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step." Martin Luther King Jr.
Before you begin to explore your relationship, before you rebuild health and intimacy, you need to understand your own issues and concerns. The process will only work if you both are willing to take responsibility for the problems in your relationship. Doing the needed individual work is part of your commitment to your relationship.
As a counselor specializing in the treatment of sex addiction and trauma, my work requires me to work closely with people whose lives have fallen apart. Couples working to heal from active sexual addiction have a more challenging job ahead of them than many individuals working to move beyond alcohol and chemical addictions. In active sex addiction involving pornography, the addicts brain becomes "hijacked" by the repetitive stimulation and then the secretness of acting out, the spouse is also repetitively emotionally traumatized by the betrayal, secrecy and lies.
The long-term healing of physical and emotional intimacy must address the shared scars created by years of lost trust, broken promises, and growing distance before returning to sexual and romantic intimacy. One of the greatest challenges facing couples in recovery is learning how to be emotionally and sexually intimate after the relationship has absorped such a great loss.
Couples who have shown the courage to make it through the initial shock, pain, and fear surrounding early recovery can feel more alone than ever in seeking solutions to restore intimacy and healthy sexuality. The only ways intimate sexuality will be reclaimed is if it is addressed directly.
Only an open minded person is capable of making a change...but for that he needs to be open hearted too. An open heart receives joy and gratitude. It is strong and loving. It does not judge people and is wise.
“Open Hearts Open Minds”
This group is a gentle path to help you renew your relationships. You will belong to a committed group of couples and experience warmth and support. This group will help couples initiate and continue recovery. You will take one day at a time as you build greater commitment, caring, and communication in your relationship. Regardless of the depth of difficulty or dysfunction you are experiencing in your relationship, there is always hope! All that is required of you is (1) an openness and willingness to change and, (2) making a commitment to carve out the time to reconnect. You will explore
· Who you are as a couple
· Who each of you are and what you bring to the relationship
· The dynamics of your relationship
· And work together to strengthen your relationship
Call for days and times of groups.
“THE GREATEST POTENTIAL WE HAVE FOR OPENING OUR HEARTS LIES IN THE OPENING OF OUR MINDS.”