Reading Material

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Beyond broken vows, discovering the one you love has been viewing pornography, sexting, or having an affair deals a devastating blow to your self-image and self-worth. You must grapple with the fact that the man you thought you knew has intentionally lied and deceived you.

With compassion and understanding, Dr. Sheri Keffer invites you to discover the healing you can have after the trauma of sexual betrayal. As a marriage and family therapist and a woman who has personally experienced the devastation of sexual betrayal, Dr. Keffer gives you the tools you need to not only survive this traumatic experience but also thrive in your "new normal."

She unpacks how betrayal affects your mind, body, spirit, and sexuality and offers practical tools for dealing with emotional triggers. She also explains the realities of sexual deception and shows you how to practice self-care, develop healthy boundaries, protect yourself from abuse or manipulation, and find freedom from the burden of shame and guilt.

Life will never be the same after sexual betrayal. But you can recover and become stronger. This compassionate book shows you how.| Dr. Sheri Keffer is the cohost of the nationally syndicated Christian talk show New Life Live! , with an audience of more than two million people each week on 150 stations nationwide. For nearly twenty years, she's been in private practice as a marriage and family therapist in Newport Beach, California, and is a Certified Clinical Partner Specialist (CCPS) and Certified Sex Addiction Therapist (CSAT). She is a passionate advocate for women who've experienced betrayal, and she holds a doctorate in marriage and family therapy and a master's degree in theology, both from Fuller Theological Seminary.

From the Back Cover

Hope, help, and a way forward--from someone who's been there.

"Sexual betrayal is a devastating blow, and Dr. Sheri Keffer knows this professionally and personally. Her insight and instruction are invaluable on the topic. Practical tools, a friend who understands, and hope for a future can all be found in this book."-- Daniel G. Amen, MD , founder of Amen Clinics and author of Memory Rescue

" Intimate Deception is the best book I have ever read for women who have been sexually betrayed by their spouse. Dr. Keffer is not just a warm and wise counselor; she personally has been through the trenches after facing the shame and devastation of sexual betrayal. Her explanation on betrayal trauma's impact on a woman's brain functioning is outstanding and will help a woman understand why she sometimes feels so crazy. Each chapter provides not only explanation and validation but also practical steps readers can take to regain their emotional and spiritual well-being."-- Leslie Vernick , relationship coach, speaker, and author of The Emotionally Destructive Relationship and The Emotionally Destructive Marriage

"Marriage infidelity is devastating to the person who has been betrayed, and it impacts every dimension: trust, confidence, and self-image, to name a few. This book provides practical and also inspirational hope for the journey of healing. Highly recommended."-- John Townsend, PhD , psychologist, New York Times bestselling author, and founder of the Townsend Institute for Leadership and Counseling

"Dr. Keffer zeros in on the greatest need of betrayed partners--healing from trauma. From her research she's coined the term Intimate Deception Betrayal Trauma™ and highlights the two things a woman is looking for: safety and the truth . Courageously sharing her own story, Dr. Keffer guides readers to understanding their trauma, then taking the steps that lead to healing."-- Dr. Milton S. Magness , author of Stop Sex Addiction and Real Hope, True Freedom

Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts

Mending a Shattered Heart: A Guide for Partners of Sex Addicts

By Stephanie Carnes

The media goes wild when politicians and celebrities being caught “cheating” on their spouses are exposed in public. Most of these types of stories focus on the person doing the “cheating”, not the partner who is left behind. After the media spotlight cools down, what happens to these partners? How do they make the decision to stay or go? Is there really any hope for the future of the relationship? How do they survive the shame and move forward? Mending A Shattered Heart provides real hope, promise and inspiration to readers who are struggling.

Anyone who has discovered their loved one, the one person that they are supposed to trust completely, has been cheating on them will want to read this book. Readers have an opportunity to explore whether the person they are in a relationship with is simply behaving badly or truly suffers from a disease called sex addiction. Knowing the difference and knowing what to do about it can be transformational.

Author and editor, Stefanie Carnes brings together several leading experts in the field of sex addiction and family therapy to guide the reader through an assortment of difficult questions, including, Should I stay or should I go?, How Do I Set Boundaries and Keep Myself Safe?, What Does It Mean if My Partner Has Shown an Interest in Minors? and "What should I tell the kids?" Each of these topics are tackled in individual chapters producing a comprehensive guide that offers readers expertise on how to begin the painful road of mending a shattered heart.

What is unique about Mending A Shattered Heart is that it offers such inspiration and promise for the partner of a sex addict. It shows the seriousness of sex addiction and offers hope by showing that treatment can be successful, but hard work needs to be done— by both the partner and the addict. Without partners really examining their relationship with the sex addict, they can find themselves in a spiral of devastating relationships, essentially leaving the relationship and then falling in love with the same type of person over and over again with the same disastrous results. Mending A Shattered Heart shows the reader that they do have options. Even if the partner makes the decision to leave the relationship, there are things they can do to help them in their own recovery and make sure this never happens again. If they choose to stay in the relationship, they can work toward repairing the damaged relationship along with their own recovery.

All the material in Mending A Shattered Heart is provided in a question and answer format that delves into essential information including therapeutic and practical information that the partner can use right away. This second edition of the book includes a new focus on the impact of the trauma when a partner discovers his or her partner is cheating and what to do about it.


Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse: How Partners Can Cope and Heal
By Barbara Steffens, Marsha Means

Sexual addictions and compulsive sexual behavior are growing societal problems, with as many as three to six percent of the world population affected. Your Sexually Addicted Partner shatters the stigma and shame that millions of men and women carry when their partners are sexually addicted. They receive little empathy for their pain, which means they suffer alone, often shocked and isolated by the trauma. Barbara Steffens' groundbreaking new research shows that partners are not codependents but post-traumatic stress victims, while Marsha Means' personal experience provides insights, strategies, and critical steps to recognize, deal with, and heal partners of sexually addicted relationships. Firsthand accounts and stories reveal the impact of this addiction on survivors' lives. Chapters end with “On a Personal Note” questions and propose new paths that lead from trauma to empowerment, health, and hope. Useful appendices list health and mental health care providers and clergy.

deceived by claudia black Deceived
by Claudia Black
Facing Sexual Betrayal, Lies, and Secrets
Renowned lecturer, author, and trainer Claudia Black offers a comprehensive guide to healing and recovery for women whose partners are acting out sexually.

Pornography, cybersex, prostitutes, voyeurism, multiple affairs. No matter their "drug" of choice, men who act out sexually leave their partners reeling in fear, rage, incredible shame, and isolation. But there is hope. In Deceived, bestselling author Claudia Black offers women in relationships plagued by sexual betrayal the care and guidance to create a new path of clarity, direction, and confidence. Black uses stories of real women who have been through a wide variety of experiences to help readers develop the understanding and skills to:  confront their partners, heighten their personal security by setting nonnegotiable boundaries, avoid preoccupation with their partners' problems, practice forgiveness, let go of the uncontrollable, talk to their children, make positive changes derived from esteem and integrity.  Deceived teaches women how to proactively emerge from emotional isolation, shed secrets and shame, and discover their power to incite positive change in their relationships.
The Gifts of Imperfection The Gifts of Imperfection
by Brene Brown
Let go of who you think you're supposed to be and embrace who you are.
Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness, Third Edition

Sex, Lies, and Forgiveness, Third Edition
By Jennifer P. Schneider, Burt Schneider

Couples speak out on sex addiction. This book is based on surveys of many men and women who are putting back their relationship or marriage in the aftermath of sex addiction problems. This classic is now updated and expanded, with new material on cybersex addiction and on how to best handle disclosure of the compulsive sexual behavior to partner and children.
Surviving Betrayal: Hope and Help for Women Whose Partners Have Been Unfaithful * 365 Daily Meditations

Surviving Betrayal: Hope and Help for Women Whose Partners Have Been Unfaithful * 365 Daily Meditations
By Alice May


When Your Life Has Been Turned Upside Down

Filled with profound wisdom and clear, healing guidance, Surviving Betrayal is the essential companion for any woman whose life has been shattered by infidelity.

Author Alice May, who knows firsthand the devastating blow of spousal betrayal, gently leads women through the painful feelings of denial, desperation, and spiritual depletion that accompany infidelity. She shares her experience and strength and that of other women on how to find healthy outlets for rage, survive the inevitable rough spots, regain trust in others, and allow truth to heal the pain. She helps women empower themselves to live their lives with grace, dignity, and calm.

A House Interrupted: A Wife's Story of Recovering from Her Husband's Sex Addiction

A House Interrupted: A Wife's Story of Recovering from Her Husband's Sex Addiction
By Maurita Corcoran


Maurita Corcoran 's world collapsed when she learned that her husband, a successful physician, was a sex addict. She was suddenly submerged in a world of painful choices about how to rebuild a life for herself and her four children. This is an absorbing memoir about forgiveness, resilience, and hope. With the growing public awareness of how pervasive sex addiction has become, this memoir answers the questions that spouses must face in building lives of self-respect.


Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts

Moving Beyond Betrayal: The 5-Step Boundary Solution for Partners of Sex Addicts
By Vicki Tidwell Palmer

A go-to guide on how to confront, heal from, and ultimately thrive after the devastation of betrayal by a partner's compulsive sexual or other addictive behavior

The first book specifically for partners affected by addictive behavior that addresses, in detail, how to identify, create, and maintain boundaries as a vital component of self-care and an indispensable tool for healing and growth. Through working the 5-Step Boundary Solution partners will

gain clarity; reduce the chaos inherent in relationships impacted by sex addiction; feel more empowered and in control of their lives; discover whether or not their relationship with the addict is salvageable.

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